Excerpt from Star Crossed Rascals
That did it. Auntie Mabel's eye twitched. She grabbed the back of my T-shirt and dragged me towards the bathroom. My heart thumped and my legs couldn’t even keep up with her. I was running in mid-air. What had I done wrong?
She squeezed a blob of paste on my toothbrush and shoved it at me. “Now, clean your teeth!” she odrered. “You weren’t brought up that way. You could get sick doing that?” she shouted. “It was bad enough when you picked that toffee off the ground, and it turned out to be mouldy dog poo.” She folded her arms and tapped her foot on the tiles.
“But I didn’t swallow the dog poo,” I said. “I spat it out as soon as it burned my tongue. It tasted horrible like the chillies in Daddy’s garden.”
She banged her hand on the sink. “Why did you pick it up in the first place?”
I giggled. “’Cause it looked like one of Granny’s cocoanut toffees.”
"It's not funny," yelled Auntie. "I should wash your mouth with soap."
Yipes! Not soap! I brushed my teeth real fast. As I rinced my gums, I peeked at her out the corner of my eyes. She was still scowling. Why did she have to come and stay at our house? Mum and Dad should have taken me to Granny’s with them. Too bad for me, 'cause Auntie was no fun. Plus, I didn't dare tell her my giant gumball was stuck to my bed post.
Photos from my childhood that inspired me to write this story:
Wow. What adorable pictures! I see where you got your inspiration. I see why your stories are so real and alive. They're based on real characters. And I can't get enough of them! Your going to capture the imagination of so many children.
ReplyDeleteCute story, still a little queazy from the dog poo bit :-)
ReplyDeleteWonderful story, Trish! :) As usual.
ReplyDeleteThanks Chrissy, I've really enjoyed writing this one. It took me right back to my childhood. LOL. Thanks for visiting.
ReplyDeleteHi Charmaine. Sorry about the doggy poo. LOL. I hope to make lots of little kids go, "Bleuuughhhh."
Hi Laura. Thanks for visiting.I'm hoping to send this to agents soon.
Great story, Trish, can't wait to finish it. The pics are adorable :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Jayde. Thanks for visiting. I just wish I had a picture of the brickfield and the huge tricycle. Oh, and the giant gumball. LOL.
ReplyDeleteHi Trish,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to thank you for your comment on my blog. That is so sweet to know that my blog was the first you ever followed. Hugs to you and thanks for sharing your pictures and snippet with us. :)
Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse
Hi Angela,
ReplyDeleteWell, I started this blog after encouragement from you and others over at Absolute Write. I love your blog. It’s so helpful and fun.
Thanks for visiting, Angela. *Hugs* to you too.
What a fun exerpt! I love the dog poo bit. My only suggestion would be that you change "It tasted horrible like the chillies in Pop’s garden." to It tasted as horrible as the chillies in Pop's garden. To me, it sounds like the poo tasted like chillies.
ReplyDeleteHi Sharon.
ReplyDeleteHehe, mouldy dog poo really does taste like chillies. It has a nasty bitter taste that burns the tongue. I should know 'cause ... um ... well ... I really did pop a mouldy doggy turd in my mouth when I was seven. I thought it was a bon-bon - an English toffee dusted with icing sugar. But I soon gagged and spat it back where it came from - the gutter.
I hope it’s not your meal time.
I do like your suggestion though. It might read better.
That is so funny! (Better you than me...) I guess you learned there is no such thing as free candy. Thanks for becoming a follower on my blog. :)
ReplyDeleteFree candy! Hahahah. I love that. I might add that to my manuscript. Teehee.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting again, Sharon. I'll have to visit you again.